Why our teenagers are not happy?

The society encourages us to be happy and if we are not we should do our best to be happy and other emotions are not OK.

When we feel sad, they say: "Smile"

When we are worried, they say: "Not to worry"

When we feel angry, they say: "Settle down"

When we cry, we're told: "You'll be fine, don't be a wuss"

On TV all of them are happy, well, anyway as long as the program is showing till the adds (on the adds they are all happy because they are consuming the right beverage and wearing the trendy outfit).

On Snapchat and TikTok  they all talk how awesome and talented they are.

For teenagers our planet is a scary and stirred up place. No wonder our teenagers are either enraged, frustrated, anxious or whatever feeling you want to describe their state.

I am not surprised that sometimes we think we are failures if we don't feel happy at all times. To add to this everybody tells us to how to feel and that is the reverse of how we feel. 

In those situations we could mirror their feelings with: 

When they feel sad we say "I am hearing you buddy"

When they are worried we say "I would worry too if I would be in your position. What is your plan to ..."

When they are angry we say "I see you are really struggling. I feel for you"

When they cry we say "It sucks, I am here for you" 

Our teenagers will feel understood and connected and healing will happen.

Society says "Be happy all the time. There is something wrong if you are not" 

The real world says "Failure, Disappointment, Rejection, Disaster" 

When parents walk in their bedroom our teenagers say: "Go away! @#$ck off" We go away because our ego is hurt and we don't know what to say. We take it personally. 

That's when we must help them to talk it out! We model giving.

Simona Graham

www.watershedcounselling.com.au

 

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